Weekly update

We are now in Mid – May 2011
After six months, I am still awaiting treatment for this tumor. The biopsy is scheduled for this coming Wednesday and, as frightened as I am of the process, I know it is necessary.

This has not been a bad week. My walk has been reasonably good, except for the days when my sense of balance was very far off. Most of my symptoms are basically status quo with little to no change in the past couple of weeks. I can still feel things with my left arm and hand, although sensory inputs are weaker than my right side. When I sleep, I leave my left arm and hand out from under the cover because I have a hard time moving it. Even though my bedroom is cool, my left arm never gets cold which is the way my right arm feels when I pull it from under the covers.

The only real pain I am in, is when my left hand cramps shut. The wrist gets swollen and very painful. It does that when I stretch my fingers too. I must continually exercise my left arm and hand if I ever want to use them again. It is very frustrating though, since all the movement has to come my other hand. I still cannot move my fingers or thumb on that side, much as I tried.

The therapist tells me to lay my fingers open and flat on a book, and lean on that side to put pressure on the hand. Lorraine holds my elbow up as I lean in this transfers the weight to my hand. They call this weight bearing and it is a consistent method of treatment among all the therapists I have seen. It is designed to keep the weak hand "in the game" so to speak, and minimize swelling.

I think the swelling is one of the reasons my left hand does not want to move the fingers- very often they look like little sausages and usually there is some swelling on the wrist as well. I pray everyday that God will restore function to my hand and arm; the arm is just as weak as the hand. My shoulder is getting stronger, and I can lift the arm a bit. I cannot however control it, so when I lift my left arm there's no telling where it will go!

I am confident that once I start taking me Chinese tea that is been prescribed for me, this tumor will start dissolve as Grand Master Fu has promised. I will let the Dr. do is biopsy so we really know what we're dealing with though. I have been assured that the Chinese tea will eliminate any kind of brain tumor and that is what I am praying for.

I thank God everyday for Lorraine and her strength through all of this. She is my rock! Day after day, all day long, she's there for me. She smiles, Makes Me Laugh, and forces a giggle out of me even when I do not feel well. Her strength and courage is incredible and I love her more every day. She is absolutely the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me and she makes me very proud to be married to her every day.

I do still suffer from restless nights; last night for instance I could not go to sleep until after 3 AM. I tossed and turned from 1130 to almost 330; then said a prayer or two & the next thing I know it's 9 AM. I really wish I'd gotten up early enough to go to church today. I know I need more prayer in my life, though this has several weeks is been so hard to get up early morning that church has been omitted from the schedule unfortunately. We try to get to church on Friday nights too, but the weekly schedule, so full of doctors and therapy, makes it hard to add one more thing.

I know that I need to work harder, to either get up early on Sunday for church, or make sure Friday afternoon is clear so that we can get to church at 6 PM. This week,I had physical therapy Friday afternoon.

I am still talking into the computer using a microphone...thankfully I don't have to type all of this using one hand. The software, however is buggy and it drives me nuts that I need to keep making corrections. After six weeks of learning my voice this program should know me by now! But Dragon Naturally Speaking is the best voice-recognition software out there. My problem is that I am running out of breath very easily... so my voice changes as I go along. Also, my facial muscles are weak, left side, and sometimes I slur my words and sometimes I do not. So the software has a hard time keeping up with my voice changes.

That is all for now; I need to drink a cup of coffee and save my morning prayers.