Well, this week the doctor diagnosed me with a glioma...an inoperable brain tumor. We have spent a lot of time praying to God for a miracle. We are leaning toward a San Diego company that does radiosurgery which is non-invasive. We have yet to find out what it costs but that really does not matter at this point.
It looks like a long road ahead of us, and that the physical therapy I am currently undergoing is just the first small baby step. I cannot use my left hand at all and am currently talking into a microphone. My voice is being affected though,and it's getting harder and harder for the computer to understand me as I talk into it.
I know something has to be done very soon, and Lorraine and I are beyond scared. We know that God can perform miracles as they are all over the Bible. When I am healed I will make sure everybody within my range of contact knows how much we prayed about this and that God was the healer. Right now we're just waiting for Him to point us in the right direction. the waiting is very tough and anxiety is my enemy. As much as I know that fear and anxiety are counterproductive to healing, it only seems natural to cry once in a while. I really do try to keep this under control because it not only affects my nerves but also affects Lorraine greatly. I cannot stand to see her hurt this way but obviously, my anger and fear has to come out at times...I am only human.
Lorraine has taken incredibly good care of me through all of this and I'm extremely grateful. We know what the road ahead of the holds but we can't wait to put it past us
About Me
- PaulB
- San Diego, CA, United States
- I am an avid amateur astronomer, active in the San Diego Astronomy Association (www.SDAA.ORG). In addition, the Wife and I love our '76 Corvette Stingray, and were members of the local Corvette Club for years before I got sick.
1 comment:
Feeling is healing, Paul!!! be true to how you feel with yourself and loved ones. Just be real. Yeah, that's scary as hell. Maybe give yourself permission to be scared for 5 minutes a day then try to focus on healing. I know it must be hard and I am not you nor going thru what you are going thru. But I have gone thru stuff with my Mom when she was sick, and I was a Hospice RN for a while. I have seen people "graduate" from Hospice, and no I do not mean they graduated and went to Heaven, I mean they got WELL and didn't need us anymore! I believe every disease is curable. A radical belief perhaps, but I do believe this. I believe disease is simply dis-ease and it is simply an indicator that is only trying to show you how to love yourself more. I am still disabled from a bad slipfall at previous job and looking to 2 more surgeries- hip and 2nd shoulder. I understand what it's like not to be able to use your arm/hand. I am right handed and have severe pain in my right bicep(typing on computer hurts) this fall has been a spiritual healing journey to me. It has been very hard, but I am gonna get thru it and you can too!
In your corner my friend! xoxo
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